I feel bad

I feel so bad for Jon. I mean, not in the way you are probably thinking that I do though. I feel bad because he has to see how sad I am about him leaving. Today is October 8th. He leaves November 8th. It's hard for me knowing that every day that passes makes it closer to him leaving. It's hard for him to know how sad I am about him leaving. I try to hide it around him because I want to make the rest of our time worth it and I do not want to spend it dwelling on what is about to come. I usually tear up when I am not around him - but sometimes I just can't help it.
The other day we were watching a scary movie - he turns to look at me and I am legit bawling my eyes out. Sometimes it just hits me like a rock. He chuckles as me because who starts bawling in the middle of a scary movie.... I do! lol Then last night, we went to bed. Oh yeah - I might as well tell you that I have been spending a lot of time at his house. Well, not so much as his house - but I always come here to sleep beside him. Of course, we can't spend every day, all day together because we both work and have our own separate lives, family, friends - but lately, knowing that he is leaving soon, I always come over to sleep beside him. In a month - we won't be able to do that so let's soak it up! Naaaa mean?
Anyway, so last night we were laying in bed and BAM - I got hit like a rock again. I cried myself to sleep. 
I am going to miss him so incredibly much.... it sucks. I can't imagine not bbming him about little things that happen throughout the day - or kissing him, cuddling him .... I just can't imagine my daily life without him. It sucks. It's bitter sweet for both of us, that's for sure.
Okay, so maybe I'm a little crazy with the random outburst of tears - but maybe Jon likes pyscho beetches?