Tomorrow Makes 5 Weeks

Omg! Tomorrow is October. Do you know what that means? That means I only have 5 weeks left. 5 weeks to spend time with Jon. Oh how it makes my heart ache to think about it. I hate the unknown and I hate not knowing how long I will hurt for once he leaves. I hate not knowing what will happen to us when he leaves. I hate not knowing if one of us, or both, will meet someone else. I hate not knowing how dreadfully long these 6 months will feel. I am terrified for him to leave.

I am so happy for him and almost happy to put our relationship to the test, because this 6 months will be the ultimate test. We have gone through a lot together this far, and if we can make it through 6 months of once-a-month emails, and still be madly in love, we will then know everything. But I hate not knowing. I'm such a worry wart and being the silly minded person that I am, all I can think about is hurricanes, typhoons, earthquakes and anything else that has been happening in that part of the world. We have come up with some simple stuff to make the other feel comfortable while he is away. If there is a natural disaster where he is, he is going to call or email as soon as possible to either myself, or his family. His father will have my phone number to call me if he needs to or update me if need be. I am more scared for the actual day he leaves, November 8th. I think I will feel the worst that day, just knowing he's leaving and anything can happen in 6 months... just knowing 6 months. It'll be a brutal feeling. I'm excited to begin it though, because once the time has started, I can start counting down the days til he returns again.

My best friend, Katie and I are heading to Montreal for the New Year. She's my date! HAHA! It'll just be nice to go away, just me and her, and enjoy and appreciate the time! I love this girl with my whole effin heart. I can honestly say, since the day I met her, she has never let me down. She has stuck by my side through thick and thin. I am proud and honoured to have her in my life. I'm lucky to have such an amazingly beautiful best friend, and boyfriend. Katie's prepared to deal with me hibernating in my bed, crying for the first couple of weeks. Then, I know she will kick my ass into shape and get over myself. lol That's why I love her!

We are kind of going into the trip as, we will continue to be faithful to one another and have full intentions of continuing our relationship in May, but if something happens on a drunken night or whatever - just don't let the other find out. It's like a "get out of jail free card." I am not worried about that with myself, but Jon will be doing much more partying then I am, and I fully trust him - but things happen and I don't want him to have to worry or feel guilty while he is away. What I don't know won't hurt me. With that said, we are going to be 100% faithful to each other, but 6 months is a long time, and plenty of things can happen. So we made this (what some may call) ridiculous "truths" so neither one of us, more so him, will hold back from the amazing experience he is about to have with his guy friends!

Whatever happens, it will be an experience for both of us. Although I will still be here in my everyday life, I will learn a lot about myself, my heart and I will gain strength. I am terrified for him leaving because I know how much I am going to miss him. But I want him to live up this experience and his youth as much as he does. I would never hold him back from his dreams... and that's how I know I love him.

Everything happens for a reason, right? Which brings me to a crazy story that I want to share with you. Jon took me for dinner last weekend to a Chinese restaurant. His fortune cooking said something along the lines of,

"Your life is sending you on a new adventurous path". 

Mine said something like,

"Your friends and family will be your backbone!" 

Crazy? Or do these Chinese employees people follow my blog?!